More growing must be needed

After my lengthy last post, I was full of optimism, thought I had been to the Valley and on my way up. Well, I guess I haven't learned yet what God wants me to. Thursday night, the headache in the back of my head returned. Friday- I returned to a different anesthesiologist to get a second blood patch- this one will do it right? Well, a different anesthesiologist with a different point a view was not as willing to do it, he did, mostly due to the fact, I had my heart set on it, thinking if the first one worked for awhile this one is sure to fix me up. Well, it didn't.





I spent the weekend lying around, I can be up about 5 to 10 minutes with the pain in the head returning to a point it is difficult to tolerate and then I go lay down for a few hours and start the process again. Fun stuff I tell you. I returned to the NEUROLOGIST ON TUESDAY HAD ANOTHER MRI OF MY BRAIN- A SPECIAL ONE TO LOOK AT THE VEINS AND SINUSES (I THINK). GOOD NEWS- IT CAME BACK NORMAL. I WAITED ALL DAY YESTERDAY FOR THOSE RESULTS AND WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WE WERE GOING TO DO NEXT. WELL, IT WASN'T WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR- 1 WEEK OF ALMOST COMPLETE BED REST, FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER WEEK OF UP AS TOLERATED. WHAT! I WANT TO BE FIXED LIKE YESTERDAY- I WAS SAD, ANGRY, MAD, DISAPPOINTED, BUT NONE OF THAT DOES ANY GOOD. SO I WILL FOLLOW WHAT THE DOCTOR SAYS AND TRY AND MAKE THE MOST OF IT AND CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR HEALING.



A FEW WEEKS AGO IF SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT I WOULD COULD GET TO LAY AROUND FOR AT LEAST 3 WEEKS AND DO NOTHING BUT DRINK AS MUCH CAFFEINE AND FLUIDS AS I CAN, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT TO BE A TREAT. BUT, NOW THAT I AM FORCED TO DO IT, IT JUST TAKES THE FUN OUT OF IT AND IF I KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT WHEN THIS WAS DONE,I COULD TRY AND ENJOY IT, BUT WORRYING CAN BE A LIFE KILLER.



SO NOW I AM GOING TO TRY AND LOOK AT THE POSITIVES AND KEEP LISTENING TO SEE WHAT GOD IS TRYING TO TEACH ME- I MUST BE MISSING SOMETHING. SOME OF THE POSITIVES- ERIC HAS BEEN TRULY AMAZING- I COULD WRITE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THAT BUT ONE OF THE MOST HELPFUL THINGS- SETTING THE COMPUTER ON THE FLOOR FOR ME WITH A MATTRESS- I AM GETTING BETTER ONE HANDED TYPING. I WAS THINKING LAST NIGHT THAT ZACH AND CALE MIGHT EVEN BE ENJOYING THIS A LITTLE BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS TIME- SO I WATCH AND CUDDLE WITH THEM WATCHING TV/MOVIES. I HAVE TALKED MORE WITH THEM THE PAST FEW DAYS THEN I HAVE IN A LONG TIME. I WATCH ZACH PLAY HIS DS, LAY ON THE COUCH WHILE CALE PLAYS THE Wii. IT SEEMS LIKE BEFORE THIS WHOLE ORDEAL I ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT NEEDED TO BE DONE- I RARELY JUST LAYED AROUND. NOW I HAVE BEEN DOING NOTHING AND THE HOUSE ISN'T FALLING A PART AND EVERYONE IS SURVIVING-MAYBE THAT MAY BE A LESSON TO LEARN.

WELL, I RAMBLED ON ENOUGH, HOPE MY NEXT POST WILL BE WITH HAPPY PICTURES AND A STORY OF HEALING.